Exciting news from the NALMDW

The North American League of Male Dishwashers (NALMDW) has released their first annual preseason rankings and, much to my chigrin, I was snubbed of a Top 5 ranking.

This league bases its rankings on both speed of dishwashing as well as quality of washing job and overall impression. There are 5 judges that score the second two elements much like an Olympic diving or gymnastics competition. As such, none of these judges represent the country from which participants are from.

I feel that I should have been ranked higher, considering my depth of experience and admittedly nice job of washing that I do. Unfortunately, the powers to be considered the following 5 male dishwashers to be better than I:

1. Jesus (I guess I can't really argue this one that much, I mean, He is the Son of God after all; although, I am suspicious of how often he actually washed dishes, being the son of the best parents of all time).

2. Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire (I suppose he gets the nod here for the heroic measure........)

3. Vin Diesel as The Pacifier (I don't even think he ever washes a dish either, but rumor is that the French judge gave him a 10.0 because of his good looks......and the one-arm pushups).

4. This guy.

5. Michael Phelps (He's not even a registered member of the League but apparantely after saying that I would smash him in a dishwashing contest, he edged me out by 0.01s) [extra props to you if you laughed because you understand].

God bless all you men who wash dishes for yourself, your wife, or just for your sanity.